4| It’s Just Me Now

B148
Another badge! I have too many, I’ve lost count.

Life at home is…different now. You all probably now why. My older sister Marin Brooks disappeared a few days ago…has it really nearly been two weeks now? Time flies…

B149
Annie gets sick often.

You would think with such a cataclysmic event for a family, that life would stop. People wouldn’t go to work, or school, or Scouts…or prepare for college, but that’s exactly what we did. Just because Marin wasn’t here didn’t mean life froze. Annie was a prime example of this, she just can’t stay away from the squirrels!

B150
Winterfest was coming up, and Mom had a surprise.

Of course, we stayed by the phone as much as possible the first few days…but eventually, Mom and Uncle Andi thought us kids deserved a fun break, and decided to bring us somewhere special.

B151

It’s a little Christmas cafe they came to as teens! It was really fun to make snowpals with my family, a nice break from the waiting.

B152
Xialla had the most fun I think!

Best part about this was I got to experience this snow with my favorite niece and kid in the whole wide world – little Xi! She had a BLAST! The chocolate scone things were delish too.

B153
She loves my jokes.

Uncle Andi loves to sit down and listen to us. All in all, it was a good day.

B154

During this difficult time, I tried to surprise Mom, and I like to think it worked.

B155

Course, I gotta be the weird kid sometimes…like who doesn’t want to do their homework on the street?

B156

Annie kept getting into the trash, and she absolutely loves it!

B157

When I sleep, I dream that Marin is still home.

B158

“I know you miss her Cinnamon…I miss her too. But I think she is okay…wherever she is. Don’t you think so?”

B159

Mom got me a new room meant for engineering and logistical studies. It’s pretty cool so far!

B160

Despite having a cool new study to chill out in, my active side called me to the hoop. I was struggling to focus on things lately, with just too much uncertainty going on around me. Where was my sister? What about college? Should I stay and wait for Mar? Or go find her on my own? But I also wanted to go to school…ugh. Then there was Mom and Dad. What would they do without me? It’s just me now. Marin left.

B161

The next day I went to Windenburg and did some fishing for that Outdoor badge. I tried to think about my next move.

B162

Should I go after my sister? Or stay at home?

B163

Or do I go to college and pursue my dreams?

B164

I just can’t choose. My family…or my sister…or my family…or my dreams and university. Why can’t I have everything??? If Marin would just have told me or send me a note…anything.

B165

We are all struggling a bit, I think.

B166

Stress has me breaking out over this decision and indecision. Oscar didn’t have much advice for me.

B167

Cayson just hugged me. He didn’t talk to me, he doesn’t talk to anyone actually. I think he’s struggling with a lot of things right now. I wish I could help him.

B168

The one thing I could do for my family is help my niece with her homework. I wish I could do more.

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