…Because eventually, things start going downhill and we don’t know how to stop it.
Did it begin with Marin’s disappearance? Or with Monka’s death? He slipped into a peaceful rest by the fireplace…my heart hurts slightly less knowing we gave him a good home, but it hurts for my children. Little Xialla didn’t understand…until she did.
Cayson has been struggling so much lately, I am afraid how this will affect him.
As for Xi, I wanted to protect her from this forever.
After it was all said and done, I went for a run. We all deal with things in our own way.
Oscar had been out at one of his school sports…and he did not take the news well.
I take comfort in the knowledge that Red will seemingly outlive all of us. I don’t know what I would do if he died right now. He’s my rock, like he always has been.
We each deal with things in our own way. As time moves on and our children no longer need us, we can delve further into our own hobbies.
Hope is over a lot, but not to ask for news anymore. I think she knows I have none on Marin, even though I desperately wish to find some very soon. Instead she takes whatever comfort she can.
But not everything is super bad and gloomy. Even if I feel that Cayson isn’t telling me everything like he used too…or any of my children, really.
My first born is now a young man. I couldn’t be prouder and yet, Lyssa and I are sad…because he’ll be going off soon to do whatever he wants, and we will support him. But…agh, parenting sucks sometimes! You just want to keep them safe but you have to let them go fly sometime…
“Happy birthday Cayson.” Just because he was nearly as tall as me didn’t mean I couldn’t lift him up! I was still stronger than him! Even if it hurt my back a bit…
We all did our own things within the house, some more productive than others…
It felt weird to be able to do my own thing a bit, but also good? It’s…bittersweet. Hope and I’s kids are growing up, and we are getting older. It’s just the circle of life.
Then life can give us a big twist and surprise us! Well, I guess Xialla can add this to her science report…”my ghost dog Monka contributed to this project by licking the baking soda.” I bet I’ll be getting a call from her teacher soon!
But, life ends and lives continue, so we will be okay. We’re Brooks after all. We endure. Wherever Marin is, I know she is strong enough to handle whatever is happening, at least until we find her.
Even if it feels like we never will. Just…there are no traces or leads. It’s as if…she planned this.
Work is getting harder, with the stress of Xialla and now Marin. I think I will enjoy retirement…if I can stay awake long enough to get there.
Speaking of my little princess, she has been quite the busy bee on her badges and manners!
Oscar has been spending a lot of time on his computer, studying for tests and prepping for college opportunities and internships…whatever that means.
As for Cayson…am I a bad parent if I say I am worried? He seems…really off. But he’s an adult now and old enough to make his own choices…he hasn’t mentioned university yet. He just likes to make videos, cook, and mix drinks for his followers.
Yet I feel like Red always knows more of what’s going on in this house than I do…and I wish he could speak and tell me what’s up, so that I can help.
Until next time.